0 Comments | Daily Mirror, The; London (UK), Jul 26, 2010 | by MIRIAM STOPPARD
Stupid fling’s ruined my life
Dear Miriam,
In a moment of madness, eight years ago I had a brief affair with my daughter’s boyfriend. His guilty conscience got the better of him, he confessed to her and I got all the blame.
My husband threw me out and I haven’t seen my daughter since. I know she married the boyfriend and they have two children. I wasn’t invited to her wedding. I had to watch from a doorway across the street and it breaks my heart I’ve never held my grandchildren.
I long to see her and them. I know where they live and want to get in touch. I’m so sorry for what I did. What now?
Karen
Dear Karen,
You committed the ultimate betrayal and have had to pay the price. You know it was a terrible mistake but, as your daughter hasn’t bothered to seek you out, it seems unlikely that time has softened her anger towards you.
Having you in her life again would be a stark reminder of your treachery and her husband’s fickleness. They won’t want to reopen old wounds.
If you’re brave enough to try, and you’ve steeled yourself for rejection, you need to prepare the ground by writing a letter spelling out that you’re full of remorse and begging her forgiveness.
If you send it Recorded Signed For, you can be sure it gets there. The best of luck.
The pleasure’s all mine..
Dear Miriam,
I’m so glad a friend recommended that I buy a vibrator – I didn’t know what an orgasm could feel like until then.
The only trouble is, I enjoy it so much I’ve been using it when I wake and before I go to sleep. It’s a guilty secret I’ve kept from my boyfriend.
Now I’m worried because it’s ruining sex between us. I feel nothing when he tries to excite me.
It’s as though I’ve lost all my sexual sensation and don’t feel like a proper woman any more. Has the vibrator been damaging me?
Carla
Dear Carla,
It’s OK to like the orgasms you experience from a vibrator best. Plenty of men prefer masturbation as they can control the orgasm.
Vibrators produce subtle and intense stimulation of the clitoris and this is an easier way than full sex for many women to achieve orgasm. It’s possible, if you get more physical pleasure this way, that subconsciously your desire for more conventional sex has been dampened.
Vibrators cannot desensitise anyone permanently. Maybe you need more variation in your sex life and you should reduce your dependency on the vibrator or incorporate it into your sex life with your boyfriend.
Massage exercises can awaken sexual responses, and you should find my Sensual Massage leaflet useful.
Trapped by her jealousy
Dear Miriam,
My girlfriend is insanely jealous. She gets angry when I talk to other women and is constantly worried I’ll be unfaithful to her. I need some independence to be happy and she doesn’t understand we can’t spend every minute together.
In the two years I’ve known her, I can’t think of anything I’ve done to make her mistrust me. She’s 23 and I’m 25. It’s driving me crazy. How can I deal with her?
James
Dear James,
Nothing can ruin a relationship faster than jealousy. It creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate and fear. Being with a jealous person is tough but your girlfriend is also suffering. It’s very painful and destructive to feel that way but ultimately, the jealousy is her demon to conquer. All you can do is continue to be faithful and tell her how you feel.
There could be many reasons why she feels insecure and clingy, including hurtful experiences in childhood and past relationships. Has she ever talked to you about these feelings?
Ask her to tell you the things you do that spark her insecurity. Once you know the triggers, do your best to avoid them. Put the emphasis on helping her boost her self-esteem. Keep telling her how much you love her and give her compliments.
Kids refuse to keep it clean
Dear Miriam,
I have two children, a girl and a boy aged 15 and 13, who are very lazy. They won’t help me in the house and wait until the last minute to do their homework
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